skin

After Jason blessed Eli, the doctors and nurses stopped breathing for Eli.  He was 31 minutes old and hadn't taken a breath or moved on his own.  They had given us the opportunity to bless him, and we thought this would be our time to say goodbye to him.  We felt at peace with this, and were grateful for the time we had been given with him. After they took the mask off him, Jason said he felt his back arch, ever so slightly, and he began to breath; even though this was not something Jason had blessed him with.  I sensed that he felt so much love in the room from all of his family members.  He wanted to stay a little longer.

They asked me if I wanted to put his beautiful, fragile body against my skin.  I couldn't imagine a more perfect thing in all the world to feel him like that.  There is something so soothing and healing about being against another person we love; especially for a mother and her child.  The only way I can describe this experience is that is was natural.  There wasn't fireworks or excitement.  It just felt like he should be there. Because he should. I felt complete.