2 songs

There are two songs that I want to tell you my thoughts about.  

The first is: Mary, Did you know? I really despise this song.  If it comes on the radio, I demand we change it, and fast!  Do you want to know why such strong negative feelings from a song about Mary.  Well...the title says it all! Mary, did you know? Uhhh... ya... she knew. She knew better than anyone else.  She was the first one that knew.  She thought about it more than anyone else.  She raised him and thought about his earthly mission everyday.  30 years before most people even had the chance to know him.  SHE KNEW!  What a dumb song!  Did you know, Mary?  Was it a surprise to you?  Do you think that her only sacred experience was when the angel Gabriel came to tell her that she would be the mother of the Son of God?  Hadn't she felt something different her whole life? What about during the years she was raising him?  Don't you think she had a lot of help from His Father?  Anyways... that song really bothers me because it depreciates her very sacred  and integral role in His earthly life. Maybe the song doesn't really mean what it sounds like it means, but I still don't like it.  It should be entitled: Everyone else, did you know? 

The second song: Breath of Heaven.  I don't know if I ever listened to the lyrics before, but I heard it the other day and really listened to it this time.  I always thought it was talking about after Jesus was born...like he was the "breath of heaven" or something.  No...it was written about Mary's pregnancy.  I really started to think about how that might have been for her.  She was given news that she would be the mother of Jesus Christ.  She had never been a mother before.  This was her first baby.  At our house we say, the first child is the like the first pancake....never the best; it takes a minute to get the hang of things.  But, by the time you make the 2nd pancake, the pan in the right temperature, you have the good spatula, and you are in the pancake making groove.  She didn't really have the option of messing the first one up.  She had to do it right the first time. God was His literal Father.  We all want to be good parents, but imagine if the other parent is God.  That would really bring out your insecurities and weaknesses.  What a tremendous weight.  She probably didn't run up to her friends and casually talk about the morning sicknesses and stretch marks.  It wasn't an ordinary pregnancy.  Oh, and remember that she was pregnant before she got married.  Hmmmmm.... quite a lot for a young girl.  The first year of most marriages is a little interesting.  You have to work out a few (or many) kinks.  Maybe their honeymoon was spent walking/riding a donkey to Bethlehem.  How exotic! Joseph and Mary had to be better than that.  Their first child was Jesus Christ.  

This song talks about her pregnancy and the weight she carried.  I don't intend to put myself in the same category as Mary, but thinking about her pregnancy, reminded me of similar things in mine.  I felt a huge weight in carrying Eli.  I knew that he was born to die.  It was a different timetable than Christ, but that is the main reason He was born.  I felt Eli's spirit as I carried him and felt he was superior to me in many ways.  So valiant and immovable.  It felt like a privilege to be part of his life; especially as his mother.  The songs says," Breath of heaven...hold me together, be forever near me."  I felt the need of this heavenly help as the time approached to deliver him.  I knew that what I had to do was not possible if left to my own devices. I relied on God to walk with me, and be right by my side through all of it.  I imagine that Mary felt she needed heavenly support in a mighty way.  I imagine that she waited and waited for her son to be born.  She waited anxiously to meet him, knowing that this meeting would be unlike any other.  I felt that way too. 

Another part of the songs says, "Do you wonder, as you watch my face, if a wiser, should have had my place?"  I wondered that.  Mary may have wondered that. And another line, "I am frightened, by the load I bear...but I offer all I am...for the mercy of your plan." I feel like I offered everything I had to God in this process; physically, emotionally, spiritually...because I knew his plan for Eli was merciful. He was to be spared a mortal experience. I was willing to give that for my son, so he could fulfill his mission here and in the spirit world.

Mary gave birth to her first child in a stable.  I have a problem with foul smells; especially while pregnant.  Can you even imagine that?  Sure...let the cows watch me give birth. How different from what she had probably anticipated.  She wasn't in her home or surrounded by familiar people or things.  And who was with her?  Joseph was there.  Maybe a midwife, maybe not?  And this was her first baby!  How scary!  She had to trust Heavenly Father. Who were the first people to see her.  A bunch of shepherds...humble men, but stranger nonetheless.  I don't usually even like people I know bombarding me after I give birth to my children in a clean, sterile hospital (with visiting hours). I have tremendous respect for Mary.

Breath of Heaven