a name and a blessing

After each of us held Eli we wanted to give him a blessing.  This is not saving ordinance;  just a beautiful thing that fathers, who hold the Melchizedek priesthood, get to perform.  We knew that Eli was sealed to us whether or not he was born alive.  It was such a wonderful privilege for Jason to do this.  Eli still hadn't taken a breath up to this time, so we didn't waste any time getting our family members in the room with us.  They had been waiting and waiting for Eli to come. I didn't notice a lot of people as they came in.  I didn't feel anxious having that many people in the room right after I had given birth (which is very unlike me).  I was pretty unaware of anything except my kids, Jason and especially Eli.  The men in the room gathered around Eli as Jason gave the blessing.  I knew it would be his first and last chance to bless Eli, but my heart rejoiced in this.  Here is what Jason said about this experience:

Each of my children's births have been spiritual, but not like this one.  I don't know why in my life I never fully understood how sacred and spiritual the birthing process is.  I'm not sure that I fully understand it now either.  However I felt the spirit so strongly in that hospital room the minute Eli's body came from his mother’s womb.  There were heavenly messengers there and the veil was so thin I consciously looked multiple times throughout the afternoon expecting see others from the other side of the veil. 

I really wanted to give Eli a name and a blessing.  Thankfully we were given that opportunity.   When I began the blessing it was if someone literally dumped a bucket of spiritual, eternal love all over me and my being soaked it up.  I was moved and overwhelmed by the feeling that seemed to emanate and radiate from Eli, and from some spiritual being or beings that our eyes couldn't see.  I felt so inadequate to bless Eli; someone who literally came mere minutes before from the presence of God.  The surge of spirituality was so strong that it energized me from head to toe like nothing I had ever felt... the words flowed freely and when the blessing closed I felt drained, depleted, and simply put human.  The contrast was so stark I was flabbergasted.  It was one of the most powerful experiences of my life.  

Miraculously, after the blessing, they took the breathing mask off and Eli began to breathe on this own.  Brooke and I talked about how much he must have wanted to stay and how hard he fought to fulfill the promises made in earlier blessings given to Brooke, me, and the kids.  I don't think I realized that just because you have been given a blessing that it doesn't mean that you don't need to fight for those blessings.  They aren't given often times without a price.  I hadn't contemplated that as we have agency so does my son who can barely move he too has agency.  He chose to come to this earth, he knew what was in those blessings and he could have bowed out and said it is too hard I can't go on, but he chose to fulfill the blessings given.

I told Brooke early on in this process that if we truly comprehend who Eli is, what his mission is, how pure and noble he is, we would have a red carpet rolled out upon his arrival.  I was able to see clearly as I was blessing him in the hospital just how true that was.  Eli spirit is majestic, powerful, bold, valiant, obedient, and lionhearted. How humbling and foreign it must have been for him for his powerful spirit to live in a body that was so weak, hard to move, breathe, and to experience life in.