Lesson #3

Eli taught me that Our Spirits are stronger than our bodies

  

Eli taught us a very powerful lesson. Life is going to be harder than you thought. Right after Eli was born they took him over to the little bed where they take babies after they are born. They dry babies off  and move them around and usually you see an active, pink baby that looks a little shocked from the trauma of birth. you hear a beautiful little cry.  That cry warms your heart because it means your baby is alive and well.  When they took Eli over to the bed we saw no movement and heard no cry. His experience was probably harder than he had imagined. I would have to think that he had been prepared in every way he could have been...intellectually, but as he lay there on the bed, he was sorely amazed at the difficulty it took to stay alive. From a medical standpoint, he should have died right then or minutes after. He lay there on the bed, totally motionless for over 10 minutes as they used a bag and mask to breathe for him. The doctors and other professionals helping us knew we wanted to bless him and allowed Jason to pick him up while they continued to breathe for him.  We quickly had our family member come in.  Jason gave him his first and last blessing on this earth.  It was a beautiful experience.  They finally decided to stop breathing for him.  It had been over 35 minutes since he had been born and he hadn't taken a breath on his own or moved his body.  He began to breathe.

We have learned that our bodies are an instrument of our spirits. Our body  is a tool through which our spirit works... Eli had a frail body. It was hard for me to imagine this when he was inside me.  He was so active and kicked and moved just as much as my other kids had. But, after he was born is was evident right away that he wasn't going to be here long.  He hardly moved his body.  I don't think anyone really knew this except me and Jason because we were the ones who handled his little body.  If he moved a hand or a foot we were really excited.  He had hardly any muscle tone and it felt as if he would break if you weren't perfectly careful with him.  At one point, i was holding him against my chest and his little arm was down at his side.  I realized it and thought he was uncomfortable in that position, but didn't have the strength to move his arm at all.  At one point, when he was doing fairly well, we decided to put his special little team G onesie on.  It was almost too much for him. 

His oxygen was so low and his co 2 was so high that his higher brain functioning wasn't working.  The reason they explained this to us was so that we would know that Eli wasn't in pain... that he wasn't uncomfortable or suffering. But it helped me to understand that What we saw from Eli was his spirit shining through. His spirit was communicating with us. His body was capable of no such thing. I have no doubt that he was communicating with us. Let me share a few examples of things we saw from him.  When Katelyn would talk he seemed to recognize her voice.  He would try to open his eyes for her.  It took such effort and looked terrible strenuous.  He was able to get them open some of the time.  At one point, the sun was shining through the window on his face.  He strained to open his eyes to see it. He was only able to open the one eye that was being hit by the sun.  I imagine that he was used to such bright light from being with Heavenly Father and this brightness was familiar to him.  There was a time when me and Jason were alone with him.  We were able to sing some songs to him that are special to us.  He made some noises back to us in an effort communicate.  It was very obvious to us when he did this. 

I have looked at the pictures we have over  and over and over again.  I look at every detail, but mostly his face.  I can see when he is relaxed and content.  It is when we are holding him.  There are some pictures of him laying on the bed.  His face looks different in these pictures.  Not distressed, but not as content.  There is a couple of pictures of him being placed on the scale to be weighed.  He is mad and his face looks distressed.  You can tell so much by looking at someone's face. We understood how Eli felt by looking at his face.  Right before he passed away he raised him arm up.  This was  a big deal because he had hardly moved at all... so moving his whole arm was quite a feat for him. We had no idea he was about to die at that point.  He was doing just fine only minutes before.  We felt it was his way of communicating with us about our family.  Jason has coined the phrase..."onward and upward"  after he gave us this sign.

His spirit is what kept him alive for that long...it certainly wasn't his body. He should have died on that table...but as soon as Jason picked him up and held him and blessed him he began to breathe in his own. there is no medical reason this is possible. I have at tremendous amount of respect for Eli and his will to live and fight. I have never seen anything so beautiful and so strong as I saw that day in the hospital room.  I think he must have also been surprised with the love he felt from so many family members. I sense that this was more beautiful than he had anticipated and wanted to linger for a little while.

 Our spirits really are stronger than our bodies... Eli showed us that.