Dr appointment

I had a doctors apt with Dr. T this morning. He is has been wonderful...every time I see him. I talked to him about several concerns and he is always able to answer my questions and understand where I am coming from.
My blood pressure is holding steady:125/88. My weight went up a ton, so I was wondering if this was a concern. I fairly certain that most of this weight is fluid...he said he didn't care as long as my blood pressure was ok. He said that my amniotic fluid going DOWN is more of a concern than it going up. I have never heard this before!!! If your fluid goes down it means that your placenta isn't functioning. If if goes up, your placenta is working, but Eli isn't swallowing (which they would expect anyways...) I'm surprised to be hearing new info at this point. Well...my placenta seems to be working fine. 

He wants a me to have an ultrasound a week sooner than we scheduled. My next one isn't until I am 37 1/2 weeks; this seemed pointless to me because we will deliver him soon after that either way. If we do it a week earlier we can actually see how Eli is doing and whether waiting that long is advisable.

 I talked to him about the actual labor and delivery. In the past, I have never been "ready" meaning my cervix isn't ready to deliver. They have to put stuff on your cervix to get it "ready" or soft. They have a couple of drugs they can use for this. One of them requires that you have it done every 3 hours and you have to stay in the hospital during that entire time. So, basically, you have to go in the night before and stay all night while they "ripen your cervix." Then they start you on pitocin in the morning when the doctor comes in. I have never really liked this process because you have already been up the whole night before they even induce you. They also have another drug that they can give every 6 hours. You can go home in between. I started going into labor when I used a drug like this with Katelyn, but it was better because you actually get to be at home. I am not really looking forward to being in the hospital for obvious reasons, so I think we will use the drug that allows you to go home. He doesn't think it is quite as effective, and in my experiences, so far, I would have to agree, but I would rather be home.

We talked about doing non-stress tests and he said that he didn't think it was a very good idea. Basically they hook you up to a monitor and watch a baby's heart rate and how it responds when he is moving. He said that because Eli has neurological problems, his non-stress test wouldn't be normal anyways, so we would have no way of knowing if something was wrong based on this. That is the first time anyone has explained that to me. I have had non-stress tests with all of my babies. When we first received Eli's diagnosis, we talked about doing these, but then the doctors said we didn't need to, I never felt a need to do it, but didn't have a specific reason why. I was grateful for this additional info.

I asked him if Eli's body could be used in anyway to help someone else. I know that he can't be an organ donor because of his diagnosis, but I was wondering if they couldn't use any part of him to help anyone else (research of any kind). He said he would check... He didn't know. I'm guessing that this won't be a possibility. They know what causes trisomy 18... A sperm or egg whose chromosomes split improperly upon conception. They don't know why it happens. There is nothing they can do about a chromosome problem, so its not like they are looking for a cure or anything. I just wanted to exhaust all questions I have.

 I talked to him about my concerns with neonatology. We have decided no to do any drastic, life saving measures. No intubation or assistance breathing, no IV drugs...basically nothing invasive. We know that it won't "fix" his problems. It may prolong his life while he is on the "life support," but can't fix the underlying cause.  We don't feel like it it good for him to experience this kind of pain unnecessarily. I have thought a lot about his brief mortal experience.  I have thought about all of his senses and how this will be for him. I want it to be pleasant and beautiful... not painful and scary. We know that he will be here exactly as long as he is supposed to be. He truly is in God's hands. I just wanted to make sure that we are all in the same page and that neonatology doesn't get anxious and try to resuscitate him if it isn't what we want. He said he would talk to the head of neonatology (Dr. M). I know this doctor and Dr. T said he would be on the same page as us. Dr. M is basically a genius. He looks like it too. He has this crazy curly hair and small spectacle looking glasses. He walks funny and it constantly talking to himself. He was a little intimidating to work with, but is seriously a genius. I needed to hear Dr. T tell me that Dr. M would be on board with us. He is going to talk withhim so they have an official note about our baby. That way no one is trying to change plans last minute. Some neonatologists are more aggressive, but I trust the experienced Dr. M. It is weird (and nice) to know these people. By the way, the other neonatologist we saw was also Dr. M... Not the same one. I wouldn't trust her with my medical decisions...or my child for that matter. 

I asked Dr. T what he would do if this was his baby. He said he would do the same thing we are doing. That helped me. The benefit and downfall of thinking about this so long is that we can go over and over and over these decisions in our heads.