The part I skip

I seem to write about a lot of things.  I like to write about my thoughts and emotions.  I like to write about chronological events leading up to Eli's birth and events following his death.  It is healing and helpful.  I seem to get stuck in a certain place.  It is right before they took his little body from us and continues until after right after we buried him.  I can write about all the other stuff. I can't write about that yet.  Nor should I.  It is terribly mortal and hard to process in a mortal mind and I don't like it.  This is where we live and this is what we do, but I don't like it.  I can't think of a better alternative.  I have tried.  But, I don't like it.  These events were done in the most tender and kind manner that I can imagine, but I still don't like it. I don't think I will ever like it, but I will have to be able to tolerate it better than I do now.  I may start back tracking in the chronological events or talk about more recent things, but that time is closed for now.