Jelly beans

How do you explain death to a 3 or 4 year old?  Lincoln has asked me a few questions recently and I realize that we will have to continue to discuss many things as he gets older.  We drove to the cemetery on Lincoln's birthday to give Eli a balloon.  I wanted to feel like he was part of our birthday celebrations because he is such an integral part of our family.  It seems to weird to have a holiday or celebration without visiting the cemetery.  I let Lincoln pick out a balloon to take to him.  Lincoln has been okay with the cemetery so far, but is starting to ask more questions.  One time he asked me if Heavenly Father was in the box (casket) with Eli.  I told him no and he became very upset because he thought Eli would be scared without someone in there with him. I tried to explain that he wasn't really in there; that it was just his body, but he lived in heaven with Heavenly Father.  He is four.  He didn't get it.  I eventually just told him that Heavenly Father was in there with him.  When we were driving to the cemetery on Lincoln's birthday, Lincoln was curious how Eli got from the hospital (pronounced hos-ti-bul) to the cemetery.  He wanted to know if he had a car seat?  Good question for a 4 year old.  I told him he had a special place to ride that kept him safe.  Then he asked why Eli couldn't come out of the dirt and come to his birthday party.  He wasn't upset about it....he was genuinely wondering why.  I told him that Eli lived in heaven and he could see us but we couldn't see him.  I need to do more teaching with that glove, hand thing, but there is only so much he can understand.  It doesn't make sense to him, but he isn't upset by it.....thank goodness. I hope it stays that way.  On Valentines day we went as a family to visit Eli at the cemetery.  Lincoln had been carrying a bag of jelly beans around all day that he had received that morning.  I told him he had to wait until the afternoon to eat them and he had been very obedient.  When we were at the cemetery, he told me he wanted to share some with Eli.  He ripped the bag open and carefully placed some on his grave.  We have left them there all this time.  It is beautiful reminder Lincoln's willingness to share something so precious.  Lincoln has come back with me a couple of times since then and he looks at the jelly beans.  They are disintegrating and he tells me that Eli ate them.  Of course he did sweetie.