Easter reflections

As I think about the resurrection of Jesus Christ during this Easter weekend, my thoughts are a lot different than they used to be.  I used to think about Jesus Christ and his life, death and resurrection, but it was never profoundly personal, like it is now. When someone you love is in the grave, the resurrection no longer becomes something we sing about and look at a picture of.  It is about the person you love.  It is about the hope of seeing them again- whole, in a glorious and perfected state.  It isn't something I am just "grateful" for anymore.  It isn't part of the story.  It is the story.  It is the  reason that the things preceding His resurrection matter so much.  It is everything.  Without that hope, there would be no purpose for life.  There would be no reason to go on.  There would be nothing but darkness and despair.  I truly mourn with hope.  Because Jesus Christ broke the bands of death,  I live with the sure hope that I will hold Eli again.  And this time, it won't be for 5 hours or even 5 years.  It will be forever....never to be separated again.  It has become an anchor to everything I experience as I feel the loss and sorrow at our separation.  I have a very clear image of what that reunion will look like.  I imagine the cemetery; the place I have gone to so many times and left with empty arms, and sometimes, an empty heart.  There will come a time where there will be no more emptiness, no more tears of sorrow, no more pain. I think of it often.  Eli is buried by many other babies and children.  It is a very sacred spot of ground.  There is purity and tenderness there.  It feels tangible at times.  I imagine all the other mothers, who yearn for their children. I imagine them being there, kneeling upon the ground.  

Revelations 21:4: And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.  

When we were at the mortuary, preparing Eli's body to be buried, Jason was holding him in some of our last moments.  He looked at me and asked if wanted to hold him one last time.  I looked at him very intently because his words had pierced my heart.  I told him that this wasn't the last time.  He knew that, of course, but he meant for now.  I wouldn't even hear it.  I know that our separation is temporary.  I knew it wouldn't be the last time and the next time Eli would be warm and soft and full of life.  

I read a talk awhile back, about the "power of the resurrection."  It opened my eyes to some important truths that I hadn't considered.

Our Great Potential- Spencer W. Kimball

Truly, truly it is a happy Easter as it reaffirms the reality of Jesus Christ as the victor over the grave.  He broke the bands of death that would enslave us for eternity had it not been for His atonement.  I have a very deep sense of reverence and gratitude for Christ giving me something that I NEED; that is precious and dear; that means everything to me.  The chance to be reunited with Eli.  The knowledge that I will be. 

Someday, all graves will be empty.