I had another doctors appointment yesterday. It was uneventful. Blood pressure fine. Eli's little heart is still beating away. I feel like they keep telling me that I can be induced early over and over again. It is getting old to hear this. I know (more than anyone), that I don't get to pick the outcome. They say it won't change the outcome. I get it, but I feel like I have a responsibility to do my part, as his mother, to let his mortal life play out as it will. That means protecting life and giving him the best chance to live, even if it's only for a very short time.
I feel like so many people... not just doctors, are treating him like he's already dead. He's not.
We really think we get to pick a whole bunch of what happens in life. Some things, namely creating and taking life are just not up to us. Society thinks to tell us otherwise. I feel like everyone is looking at me. The big, uncomfortable pregnant woman with too many hormones and not enough time. I think this should be a little more focused on Eli. This is his life after all. Don't get me wrong...I'm not mad at the doctors. They are just doing their job, and as far as they are concerned, I am the patient. It's just not the same to me.
No comments:
Post a Comment