Amniocentesis results

We received our amniocentesis results. They confirmed that Eli has trisomy 18.

I got a phone call from a number that I didn't recognize. I didn't answer it. They left a message. I didn't listen to it. I thought it might be the pharmacy where I get some if my diabetes supplies from. I don't need anything from them right now, so I wasn't all that concerned about listening to the message. 

I was cleaning up my phone (basically getting rid if all of those red little numbers that tell me I have unanswered texts, unread emails, missed phone calls, etc.) I hate those little red numbers. I thought it was a little weird (and now I feel a little rude) to leave that kind of sensitive information on a message. It was from a genetic counselor whom I have never talked to. It was weird. I think they should improve they're processes a little better. It sounds like these "genetic counselors" are accustomed to giving bad news and don't seem deterred by the prospect of it. Maybe they should get some training in sensitivity or common courtesy. That being said, I might just be looking for a reason to be mad, I couldn't really be mad about the results, so the person giving them was the next best option.

I don't feel much emotion after hearing the results. I already knew, or felt almost completely certain. I'm didn't entertain the idea of the test being negative for more than about 10 minute total, which is saying a lot, because I constantly thought about the results from the first test. Constantly. It was even in my dreams, which is not a normal thing for me.  A few people asked me about the results from the amino  I had almost forgotten that we did it. It was not hanging over my head.  

The test will give us additional information about what type of trisomy 18 he has (there are 3 types, with 95% of them being a full trisomy. Full just means every cell in his body is affected). The type he has doesn't affect his prognosis. Just info, I guess.

Ultimately, I feel, on a spiritual level, that Eli isn't meant to stay here on earth. He doesn't have to. The test results on a piece of paper are less powerful to me than that feeling.