Doctor visit

I had a doctors appointment with another OB yesterday.  Dr. T was not available : (  I talked with the other OB and he said the same thing that Dr. T said about everything.  He was very sensitive and kind.  He acknowledged that some babies do live and go home with their parents, but that he had never seen that happen to any of his patients.  It was the same conversation I had with Dr. T with less words.  He let me listen Eli's heartbeat for a little while.  He said that it was such a beautiful noise and had a big smile on his face.  I am so grateful for these little kindnesses that mean so much to me.  You always get to see lots of pregnant ladies at the doctors office.  Sometimes this is okay, and sometimes its hard.  I feel like I look the same, but I'm not the same.  I have had the thought that someone in the past has probably been in a similar situation as me (looking like an expectant mom, but expecting something different), and I never knew.  Looks can be very deceiving; and I'm not just talking about pregnancy.  
I may have some of the same complaints as other pregnant women, but my complaints are also different.  For those of you within the sound of my complaints, you probably know that my nausea is getting worse. I really hate being nauseated. In fact, there have been several times when I'm not pregnant, that I think I am pregnant because of that feeling.  To me, nausea is only associated with pregnancy and I have been the lucky recipient of having that feeling more than most people.  As I was driving home the other day, I was thinking about how nauseated I was and how my back hurt and how it was just going to get worse!  I wanted to feel "good" during this time, so I could really enjoy my time with Eli.  I felt the spirit tell me that this kind of "pain and suffering" was consecrated.  I'm not sure if that's the right word, but I felt like it was  holy thing.  I began to look my physical ailments differently.  There was huge purpose behind it and it became a privilege instead of a burden.  I feel the privilege of being a partner in creation in way that I never have before.  I don't want to wish away any part of this pregnancy because it is all part of the experience of bringing life and eternal life to Eli.