Swimming Lessons

My kids started swimming lessons this week.  I can't say I look forward to this every year.  There is A LOT of drama from Katelyn about it.  She is sure that her teacher is going to let her drown.  I could go on and on about her antics, but this year I told her that she could tap out if she wanted to.  I told her she was old enough to decide if she really wanted to learn how to swim.  In the past, I have told her that it was a requirement and she didn't get to choose.  We talked about all the pros and cons of being able versus not being able to swim.  In the end, she decided to do it and after the first day, she was reassured that Miss Debbie was, in fact, not trying to torture her or let her drown.

This was the first time since I have had kids going to swimming lessons that I haven't been in the water with one of them or holding a baby.  They are all finally old enough to be in a "big kid" class as opposed to a mommy and me class. I'm not sure if I was happy or sad about it.  Maybe a little happy to sit back and relax.  Sad that no one is small enough to wrap their chubby arms around me as we sing silly songs in the mommy and me class.

Last year we were at swimming lesson during the week that we were waiting for Eli's test results.  We had our ultrasound on the 3rd and started swimming lessons on the 7th.  Everything was fresh and new at that point and very up in the air.  I was a little nervous to go back to that place that I haven't been to since last year.  I remember being quite emotional at the pool and not really caring who saw me cry or not.  Funny how the same places and sounds bring back those emotions again.  And to really help me reminisce, I had a stomach bug for the last couple of days, so I felt very nauseated.  Anytime I get a stomach bug, I just feel pregnant.  That is what pregnancy feels like for me.  We went the first day and I felt VERY similar (physically) to how I felt last year at this time.  The heat was awful and made the nausea worse.  I was so sensitive to the sounds and the bright sun.  Yep, it felt exactly the same, except my belly was smaller and I knew the outcome of the test results this time. I knew the outcome of everything related to Eli's life this time.  I will be happy to pass through the upcoming months.  I have been anticipating the 4th of July and the surrounding days because of what this was for us last year.  I didn't know if it would matter to me, but it does.  I see all the days differently.   I remember each day.  It is burned in my memory.  Swimming lessons was good.  The kids are bigger, I am not pregnant this time.  Life has marched forward and if even if I am not ready for it to move anywhere, it has.  It was okay to do that piece again.

And there's Lincoln....all day....everyday.