How many?

Today I had to take Katelyn to a doctors appointment.  It was a longer appointment than Lincoln would have liked, but he was doing pretty good and I was proud of him for trying at all.  The woman helping us decided we needed some ice cream coupons because of long visit and Lincoln's patience.  She asked how many kids I had....I hear a lot of people say this is a dreaded question for them.  It isn't for me. I don't mind the question at all and sometimes am really happy to answer it.  I almost say 4.  Sometimes I talk about about Eli for a second, which I love.  I love that I get to say his name and claim him as mine even thought he isn't physically with me.  It isn't uncomfortable or awkward for me, but it is for some of the question askers...which is kind of sad really because people die all the time and I don't understand why its so taboo talking about them.  And it seems the younger they are, the more awkward it is.  If you tell someone your grandma isn't around, no one acts skittish, but if you mention a spouse or child, it really can make people feel uncomfortable...I guess they don't want it to hurt you worse than it already does and ignoring things usually makes them go away, right?  Not so.  I always answer the question of "how many?" correctly.  When one of your kids goes away to college or on a mission, do you just stop counting them?  That would be a very strange practice...they don't count anymore because they don't live at home?  I feel like Eli has gone away in a similar way.  I feel how temporary it is and it would feel strange to say that he wasn't part of our family.

Anyways, she asked how many kids I have and in this particular situation I chose to answer 3 because she was really asking how many coupons I needed.  On a different day, it may have really hurt to have to say 3, but I was okay about it today.  As soon as I said three, Katelyn jumped in and corrected me by saying, "We actually have 4 kids in our family."  I looked at the woman and explained that one of my children was in heaven so he didn't need a coupon for ice cream.  I said he wouldn't be getting ice cream until another time.  She was really sweet about it and didn't act awkward at all.  She asked how old he would have been .  I gave Katelyn a big hug and let her know how happy it made me that she included Eli.  I always include him unless it is something like a count for ice cream coupons, but even then, I was grateful that Katelyn corrected me.  I didn't realize how special it was to hear my childs name and have the chance to talk about them until I had one that people couldn't dote on.  Hearing his name is the sweetest sound I can imagine....almost.